Begin Again

You can always Begin Again.

Sometimes in life, we have to start from where we are, not where we want to be. When you are honest about where you’re at, then your journey can truly begin. I love Philosophy Bath products; and I love even more the cool sayings they put on their products. This is one of my favorites:

Begin Again. You took the right road and ended up in the wrong place; Begin Again. You reached the top of the mountain only to find yourself at the bottom of a new one; Begin Again. You dotted every ‘i’ and forgot to cross your ‘t’s;  Begin Again. You loved with all your heart and it got broken anyway; Begin Again. You won the race but they gave first place to someone else; Begin Again. You followed your North Star and ended up at the North Pole; Begin Again. You achieved a big dream; Begin Again.  

We all have the power to begin again. We can restart our story anytime.

 A great example of this is in relationships with men. (Some things are timeless. Trust me on this one.) We all are aware of the dance and sometimes we lose our resolve or put ourselves in a vulnerable place. At this stage of the game with men your age, it’s all about their DNA and how they are going get their needs met. Their emotional level hasn’t caught up to their physical needs. If you can look at it in this way, it can help you clear your head so you can make the choices that only you can make. Just make sure they are YOUR choices, not someone else’s choices for you. For those of you who may have already crossed that threshold, I hope it was a meaningful experience for you. If it wasn’t, let it go. Don’t let it haunt you. You had to go through what you did to learn what you needed to learn. Close that chapter and start a new one. Remember, the past doesn’t define you. You define you. Restart your story. Begin again.

It’s hugely  important to be very honest with yourself; about what you want, what you need, what you are comfortable with. It is first and really ONLY  between you and you. Wherever you are at, I would encourage you, if you are at a place of deciding, to please remember you are giving the gift of yourself. That moment, that intimacy, you only get one shot at the first time.  Your sexuality is yours; you own it. And when you choose to share that gift－and make no mistake,  it IS a gift－make it count. Honor yourself. Don’t give it away because you think it will cement a relationship or salvage a dying one. It won’t. Men are simply not wired like us women.  We women need intimacy; that is in OUR DNA. Be aware of the price involved. Whatever your choice, make sure it is worth your price. Giving of yourself does not mean giving yourself away.  Know your limits. It should never require you to lose your self respect, your voice, or your dignity. Do what works for YOU. 

Dr. Phil says, “We teach people how to treat us.” Truer words were never spoken. Finding and establishing healthy boundaries is of utmost importance. Guard yourself. We have to take care of ourselves. It is not selfish or self-serving on any level. Do not tolerate substandard behavior. When it comes to relationships, we all let people know what’s okay and what’s not okay. What standard we will and won’t accept. Don’t let the Insecurity Monster take over. Insecurity is a powerful thing. When we are afraid someone else won’t come along, we are willing to accept any behavior from the person we are with. Never be afraid of standards! You need to decide if that person is worth your time and investment. That is not being arrogant; it is being authentic.   Ask yourself: is what you’re doing today getting you closer to where you want to be tomorrow? Be true to who you are and don’t lose sight of who you want to be.

I spent  so much of my life trying to figure people out. If they say this, I will say that. If they do this, then I will do that. Then one day my mentor told me: “You can’t force how things will be so you can react accordingly. Don’t let other people’s reactions influence you. You decide how you are going to behave and move forward from there. Top 10 in best advice I ever got. Don’t give away your power. Don’t let others put their stamp on you. You’re not who anyone says you are. You are who YOU say you are.

The one thing of which I’m very sure is that you will never regret, EVER, holding yourself to a higher standard. You know how they say, ‘Dress for the job you want?”  Same goes for people. Surround yourself with the kind of people you want to emulate. Water seeks its own level. Rise to the level you want to be. Never apologize for having high standards. The people who are meant to be in your life will rise up to meet them.

And never be afraid to Begin Again.